If I die young, please don't memorialize my facebook page I am terrified to live on in your thoughts and memories when I die, I want to bleed out of existence, not just out of my mortal shell how else can I rest in peace? if death is release and safety, let go of what you have taken and burn it with my bones so that no one can desecrate my body and please, do the same thing with my soul I hope that one day, you'll all forget my name
it is an ever-expanding thing
it's pushing at the seams of me
leaking out between my lips, my eyes,
my aching andromeda heart
they will ask you,
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
and you should laugh because
there are things not even I know about myself
a universe trapped inside a girl
I wonder about the worlds inside us all
"Do you feel this way?"
comparing the jagged edges of our hearts
like road maps, puzzle pieces
"Does this look familiar to you?"
I am hurt, I am broken
"Is this your pain? do you recognize the sting?
are we all missing pieces? am I the only one?"
I see sympathy, but what I crave is to know
if the problem's that I've tasted beauty
or that I haven't had enough
maybe if I ask enough, someone else will know
someones scars will match up with mine
we can compare our pasts, our mistakes, our miseries
and finally make sense of this ache
I can stop asking myself
"Is it wrong to feel this way?"
it is hard to imagine us all like this
a feeling l
it's just a lot, you know?
one job, eight hours, two cars, six months, the world
fast and full and changing
do you know that we lose more skin cells every day
more hair, more steps, more memories
and as time marches on inexorably
i am coming undone
maybe i am holding onto my life so hard
that other things slip through the cracks
i don't have time for favorite colors
to love my neighbor
to sing in the shower
sometimes i forget i am not the same
there was a time when i would wake each morning to
don my family's armor
braid my hair with my mother's fingers
make my grandfather's scrambled eggs
but i can't remember the taste
when i was a chi
I am mist in morning
storm in October
bluebird on a vine
I am follow winding river
watch shimmer of
scales in water
catch a petal
in my breeze
I am press myself against the sky
drift into evening
bound into midnight
I am hold my breath
bleed into morning
gasp in sunrise
drink it like orange juice
bathe in tanged yellow rays
unwind
gather motion
roil
rage
crack of thunder
snap of lightning
Flash —
I am again
no mercy
flood streets
earth damp and open
pouring out anger
love
I am unaccountable
fleeting
free and
Unattainable
I am
hover over meadows
haunt swamps and rivers
cape over green mountains
leave not even footprints
lost-and-ne
I know what it is like
to love a boy who holds a knife
it would be years and years before it touched my heart
but now that it has, my blood flows forward and back
there is no time where I do not love you
it is there, before I was born
a baby in an incubator
Here I am, praying
just breathe, just breathe
My arms are empty.
I do not love you in my heart
but where you slumber, mountains and valley and highways past
love is not here and now
but there with you
then
yesterday
today
forever
different now, better than by LupaRomana, literature
Literature
different now, better than
but things were different then
and different than
how I saw you today
with our girl in your arms
and you're better now
better now than ever
better now that you've
learned not to smoke
I've prayed and
I've hoped for this day
and things are different now
now that you're home
we're no longer alone
and your smiles still promise
a different now
a better now
now that we're a family
things are how
they're supposed to be
and you and I
are better than before
and I'll never say
that things were better then
I still
hide under the bed or
on the bookshelf
watch from shadow
There are days
they don't see me at all
Isn't it funny how you can
grow up in one way and
shrink down in others? Like
I can do my own taxes, but
nevermind facing that mirror
even just to brush my hair
I'm covered in cobwebs right now
watching them go about their lives
the tops of their heads
as familiar to me as their faces
If he finds me, I'll shrink back
bare my teeth
and wish I could let him pull me down
Because yesterday, I
shared a bed with those arms
without even a shiver
Last week we
went to the doctor
and I didn't even cry
But I'm still
on the bookshelf